how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize