Cold hands, warm shart.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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