happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
