before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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