Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
