All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
