That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
