On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
