I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dicks are not precious.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
