Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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