He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
