I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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