**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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