I seem to have left my pride at pride
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
