The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
