Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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