IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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