So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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