girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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