what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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