I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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