thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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