thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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