youre lurking in front of me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
