U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
