I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
