after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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