Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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