i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
