Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
