so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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