Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
