you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
did you just send me my own nude
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
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