i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
