If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize