This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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