apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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