You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
