someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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