Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
