They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
