haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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