You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I love having hate sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
