@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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