ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
