the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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