So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize