I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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