Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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