She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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