...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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