So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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