i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
