OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
