I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
