At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
