I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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