ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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