i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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