If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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