I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
