Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's blow job season.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
