How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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