I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
