I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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