Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
